Author Topic: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man  (Read 525 times)

D3Dman

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3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« on: July 22, 2013, 08:00:53 PM »
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
"You can't buy happiness... but you can buy weed, which is pretty close."

Galaxy Admin

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Re: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2013, 08:04:27 PM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:
It feels good to be running from the devil
Another breath and I'm up another level
It feels good to be up above the clouds
It feels good for the first time in a long time now

orthene

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Re: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2013, 09:01:35 PM »
Good one R2!
Sail and grow
Deep inside
The brave align
Green we stay

-Boss Keloid Lung Valley

the hellion

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Re: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2013, 12:38:59 AM »
LMMFAO.  I remember hearing that one but forgot all about it!! Ha ha ha
Abduction means the end for me, a million years of misery...



Spark101

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Re: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2013, 09:13:35 AM »
Wow that's some good shit right there.  :goodpost

Swishahouse6

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Re: 3 Worst Chinese Tortures Known to Man
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2013, 12:02:03 PM »
 :goodpost ;D ;D

 

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