Daughter: Uh, Daddy, I got suspended
Father: WTH??? WHAT DID YOU DO??
Daughter: Well, my ex.BF was being a dick, so I told him off and he said "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" So I grabbed a dictionary, threw it at his face and screamed "HOWS THAT FOR WORDS HURTING YOU BITCH" then ran away.
Father: You are totally my daughter, I'll be right there!