Just and excerpt from an old web page I did, too much reading Mad Magazine over the years...
Let the Punishment Fit the Crime!
"My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
Let the punishment fit the crime..." From the Mikado
"Court is now in session, Judge Richards now presiding, all rise."
"I've chosen to present all my decisions for the day in one blanket docket. I'll be brief!"
The People vs. Network TV
For all those TV executives who have bombarded us with inept attempts at comedy
And added a laugh-track to hide their mediocrity,
The court sentences you for life , without remorse...
To one channel, one show.. about a man and a horse, of course!
The People vs. the Grocery Store Cart-Returner
Through the parking lot you weave, ignoring their shouts and pleas
Only one goal in mind, how many you can bring in
An insane engineer in a retail store train,
You cram them together, never to be separated again
For this offense, you must make amends...
It pleases the court to hear you say forever more...
"Price check aisle Four-
Need a price on Depends!".
The People vs. The Traffic Scofflaw
Hogging the road as if it's your God-given right,
Refusing to yield, ignoring red lights
Giving the finger to people honking their horns
You don't pay your tickets, refuse to reform
The court finds you guilty and wants you know,
You'll now be pedaling to work in a 2-cylinder Yugo
The Law of Diminishing Returns (People vs. Local DJ)
It's the latest and greatest, you've played it 30 times this week
With another 100 times to go, why discontinue your streak?
Hear today, gone tomorrow, record sales out of sight
Get a lot of mileage, by playing it morning, noon, and night
The court could be lenient, but chooses instead
To supply all your listeners with a Milli Vanilli CD
To break over your head!
Loud vs. Soft
The gunshots ring out in the late night horror show
The creature's escaped again, but all I know
I hardly care if the monster dies
the shockingly loud Excedrin commercial has me terrified
And so in retribution to all those who've felt my plight
The court chooses to relocate all late night TV moguls
Next to an major airport,
With arriving 3:00 A.M. flights!
