Regulator/Governor
“Ladies and Gentleman, the volunteer is extremely shy and docile; refusing to respond to aggression at any level, like the classic victim who gets sand kicked in their face by the bully, so to speak, and does nothing but harbor resentment although it disgusts them. The sad result is an introvert, while suffering from extreme anxiety, also lacks the emotional fortitude to resolve ANY conflict, whether mild irritation or extreme social interaction, in a satisfactory fashion. Our goal is to relieve the subject’s anxiety while providing the ability for the subject to join our Great Society as a productive citizen. The citizen will be compelled to write in a journal on a frequent basis. Aside from the recording devices attached their central nervous system, this will be the best way to obtain data that would be lost to us otherwise.â€
Journal from Patient X.
Day One
I feel very neutral and relaxed, surprised I am not more concerned with the fact a powerful computer chip has been fused to my nervous system, at least that is the simple explanation I have been told. In fact I can feel my anxiety about the process slip away..., I understand, the chip is already responding to chemical cues. Wheels set in motion, now do I just sit back and reap the benefits or wonder if I’m Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde while I continue to record my thoughts? Not sure why such a reference to classic literature came to mind, I must remember to record all such thoughts for posterity.
Day Two
I return to work in less than a day, no one in the facility the wiser as there are no obvious signs of the implant. However, I can feel an increase in aggression, or perhaps an awakening at my partial resentment (as if resentment cannot be total) of the role I am relegated to play while watching another who receives praise for less than worthy efforts. I look to the one I secretly adore in the cubicle to my left. She is so beautiful, yet she ignores me as if I don’t exist while that buffoon Jack dominates her attention. The powers-that-be do not understand me, nor have they ever and continually pass me by for promotion. I feel anger and hate, which I completely reject. Do I try harder, work less, or play a devious end-game? I feel as if I am walking through a dream and simply a pawn to my own impulses.
Day Three
My sleep is restless, not even sure I still sleep. The dreams that come involve confusion about what to do next…. I believe I have actually roamed around the city for hours in the dark, the strange part being I was completely unnoticed until I return to find myself suddenly awake in my bed, the apartment completely unlocked as if I have forgotten my fear of intruders, music blaring loudly while the landlord beats on the door for an undetermined amount of time until I respond. I am late for work, extremely late. The first time I have been less than punctual for anything since I was a child.
Day Four
The local papers and Internet speak of the recent grotesque murders in my formerly “safe†neighborhood. Where once I would rush out and obtain the most elaborate security system I could afford, I barely seem to care. The administered drugs are so subtle, I often lapse into a semblance of narcolepsy where I mumble to myself when no one is around, for that I am grateful, as I may appear dead to the world in this state. Yet I arise, refreshed and bewildered.
Day Five
They have found my tomb, for which I feel relief, as the regulator beats within my chest and will not let me die. However, the sun turns me to dust as I thank God, who understands what I have become and gives me sweet relief.
Epilogue
“Good Evening to all, esteemed board members and concerned officials. The unnamed project is officially completed. To allay your concerns, you will see in the documentation sent to your personal device the manner in which we have given our condolences and a significant amount of financial compensation to the family to let them know he did not suffer. Of course all documentation of Patient X has been become obscured on the public network and is highly encrypted on your individual device. You can click on your approval/disapproval of our methods as you see fit. The exciting development is that we have learned a great deal about the death process. However, we still do not have data any data beyond Day Four which is quite perplexing. The subject’s brain continued to function at a high level well beyond the expected time-frame which was a further challenge to data collection. Unfortunately the final results were quite disturbing even by our corporate standards; the decision was made to immediately terminate the experiment upon receipt of said data.â€
