Drug testing myths

[ShroomVroom]

So I have some local friends I smoke out with, and two were ex-military (won't say which branch, doesn't matter).

Anyways, I wanted to post some info that I found out second hand from a reliable person:

A standard 5-panel Urinalysis utilizing the best hardware will NOT detect synthetics. It's just not how it works. However, recently, some specialized laboratories have sprung up or purchased equipment specifically for testing for synthetic signatures.

These tests are in the same price tier as steroids, roughly $350-600 a test, depending on how many synthetics are being tested at any one time.

What does this mean? Well, I can only speak for the military folks (both worked the labs together).

1. only 300 people from all branches were tested per year. This was reserved for 'commanders discretion' the same as steroids. (If you were acting a-fool, he could have you tested)

2. The program to test "3000" samples per year was nixed in 2011 after the laboratories raised their prices to triple the original rate.

Needless to say, they stuck the testing on demand as their administration of tests to avoid having to justify their budget overages every year.

I know my "Buddy" telling me information doesn't seem reliable, but he worked there as an NCO, and he had no reason to make this up telling me. I just wanted to pass this along for anyone worried.

This isn't just military; people working in corporate environments utilize many of the same 'cost cutting' measures. Simply put, most (can't say definitely all) companies can't afford $500+ per person for no reason.

"...The more you know..."

[orthene]

Gotta love it that the new tests are not really cost effective that the average establishment will spam employees with it. This Big Brother stuff is getting way out of hand anymore.

[ShroomVroom]

I'm going to add that I had this conversation 6 months ago [with my buddies].

Perhaps a cheaper, more cost effective test has been developed for mass testing (paying a small fee for a 'bucket of 100 peoples piss) and if it pops positive, THEN the company forks over the money to have everyone tested. I mean, this is only a theory, I'd have to find precedence where someone else has done this.

I can't imagine that the test price has fallen enough in the last 2-3 years to warrant even small companies to have these tests normally conducted. At least, I sure hope not.

If anyone has similar stories to those above, please feel free to chime in. Bonus blunts for factual papers / evidence of course...

[iBaked]

Story is of someone of close relation to me.

Corporation catches "wind" of one of the managerial status employees blending. Along with that bad wind, was talk of others lower tiered workers blending as well.

Long story short, they were all confronted.
With Synthetic cannabinoid metabolite tests of course.

Of the 6 people tested, 2 failed.
I can vouch for what the 4 of them that passed were smoking on (kinda new gen).
The other 2, I was told were blend connoisseurs of sort, and liked to 'smoke' around. Of them 2 failing, I would almost bet that what they were sipping on some blends containing some older generation noids.

Like I said, I can vouch for the ones that passed, and know exactly which compounds they were using come test time. With that said, it seems that all of these synth tests could honestly be by "generation" as well. Of course you could buy the cheapest synthetic test they have out there, and will hit all of the first ban wave of noids like jdub18, CP, etc... But that does nothing for the blenders smoking the most up to date stuff, fortunately!

To add to that - I'm sure you could go the the top daddy chemist and get the most recent plethora of tests they are mass producing, but then again they are more than likely not being sold publicly and/or a million dollars a pop. They are making their way out though, but each gen is another creature, especially of the late. Compound backbones are not like they used to be in this industry anymore, and of course they have to play catch up. Won't be too long, but then you have to factor in how many of these people will actually use them in their workforce??

My 2cents

To top it all off, even the guys that passed the test were castrated. Why you say? Fucking safety issues.. Are you fucking kidding me? If they ask you if you have ever even partook in the blend scene, just deny it. Seems like if they want you gone for speculations and word of mouth, then they will find a reason to gut you, regardless of your reputation.

Know your people. Know your friends. You may not know them like you think you do.

Keep on keepin on!
Smokem if you got'em
   

[niemandgeist]

If you aren't enrolled in drug court or working for the government (outside of high military positions or working for government in other capacities) you aren't likely going to be tested for synthetic cannabinoids. If you are, you WILL be tested for all known synthetic cannabinoids that have a GS-MS profile.

[R]

I have been urine tested 2x for syn cannibanoids while blazed as fuck on them and both times the tests were negative.  I deliberately tried to fail the 2nd test "just to see".

FYI the metabolites of almost every generation of syn cannibs are water soluble (hint).

Newer tests look for the actual chemcal, not the metabolite and are, in theory, more accurate, albeit they are looking at parts ber billion.  Clearly the test results could be challenged.

[jyjy]

From everything I've read if what you are using is ahead of the law it will be ahead of the testing as well, unless someone really wants to spend a ton of money to prove otherwise.

[R]

Actually it is really easy to get a MS-GC profile for any noid if you have a sample or a standard.  In 30 minutes you can test anyone for anything and there are standards being made now that have virtually every available sprinkle.  That being said, however, you have to carefull consider who would want to keep that kind of standard around and why?  If you are in a job where you may come into contact with a sprinkle, maybe, or if you are in a testing lab that specializes in very bizzare and obscure serum testing possibly. 

It is way easier to test for a variant of one of the JWH, HU, BAY or CB backbones.  These are presumptive tests, however, and like it has been said, this just shows/indicates there was a tiny amount of an obscure chemical iin your blood or urine.  Metabolites are even less accurate than direct measurement, but a lot easier.

My advice: these things do not hang around in your fats/lipids like MJ actives.  If you know you are going to be tested for blends, do a tolerance break for a week or so before the test--don't even touch them.   

[jyjy]

Before people read this stuff and get paranoid, they ARE NOT talking about regular drug testing. Thy are talking about personalized and quite expensive testing that the average person will never encounter.

[R]

Agreed.  You will never show positive in the 3, 5 or 7 panel test, and in a blend test you were unlikely to test positive if you are a moderate user or have a week or so under your belt before tested.  Blend testing is still expensive and unless you give a good reason for someone to test you, it is unlikely you will enounter it any time soon.

[R]

I want a joint now!

Me too

[dub]

Parents/Employers can buy a simple at home drug test for Synthetic Cannabinoids.

http://www.redwoodtoxicology.com/services/synthetic_cannabinoid_testing.html

Synthetic Cannabinoid testing is a booming industry.

[jyjy]

Those are all federal banned. Nothing legal is going to get caught on a test like that.

[jones]

Yeah, it's too bad, but apparently folks is only allowed to have certain types of fun.
  My Constitution said something about freedom & happiness, what happened to
that old piece of paper?

[JustSayin]

Good one Jones, that might be why that why that esteemed document is starting to smell like crumpled pages of a Sear's Catalog in an abandoned outhouse, too many politicos wiping their ass with it on a regular basis. Class 101, how to get elected to public office in the US. Step 1) Read the Constitution Step 2) Ignore or selectively choose what is relevant to you Step 3) Start a media blitz in order to circumvent or erode the basic foundations the country was established upon. JustSayin!