(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/11220875_1215808945096607_1164899511534698485_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=1e9b7c16722c2f72db52c20aefe0df7c&oe=57A1B2B7)
Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus! Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob! Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker. Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees. Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob. Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What's the best thing about a blow job? A: The ten minutes of silence! Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common? A: You don't look down Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth! Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel? A: She was trying to blow the horn. Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job? A: You just KNOW she'll swallow! Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too. Q: What is the metric equivalent of 69? A: 1 ate 1. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What's better than a rose on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ. Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper! Q: Whats comes after 69? A: Mouthwash. Q: What's the definition of a Yankee? A: Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself. Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby. Q: What is the square root of 69? A: Ate something! Q: What do you call a Christmas blowjob? A: Egg noggin. Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs? A: Because that's what they train for all their lives. Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? A: You have to chew before you swallow! Q: Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job? A: You don't know? soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow? Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob? A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: One man is on a tight rope and the other is getting a blow job in a retirement home what are they thinking? A: Dont look down Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge? A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for sex? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod! Q: What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A: The wheel chair. Q: What's the definition of trust? A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: What does 69 equal? A: A couple of mouths full.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/blowjobjokes.html
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/11220875_1215808945096607_1164899511534698485_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=1e9b7c16722c2f72db52c20aefe0df7c&oe=57A1B2B7)
Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus! Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob! Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker. Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees. Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob. Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What's the best thing about a blow job? A: The ten minutes of silence! Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common? A: You don't look down Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth! Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel? A: She was trying to blow the horn. Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job? A: You just KNOW she'll swallow! Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too. Q: What is the metric equivalent of 69? A: 1 ate 1. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What's better than a rose on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ. Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper! Q: Whats comes after 69? A: Mouthwash. Q: What's the definition of a Yankee? A: Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself. Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby. Q: What is the square root of 69? A: Ate something! Q: What do you call a Christmas blowjob? A: Egg noggin. Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs? A: Because that's what they train for all their lives. Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? A: You have to chew before you swallow! Q: Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job? A: You don't know? soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow? Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob? A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: One man is on a tight rope and the other is getting a blow job in a retirement home what are they thinking? A: Dont look down Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge? A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for sex? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod! Q: What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A: The wheel chair. Q: What's the definition of trust? A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: What does 69 equal? A: A couple of mouths full.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/blowjobjokes.html
And the hits keep coming! Thanks 1954
A boy just takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and
when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem..."
"No! Someone may see - a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night no one will show up."
"I've already said NO, and NO." "Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.
" "NO!!! I've said NO!!!" "My love... don't be like that.."
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with her hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says,
"Dad told you to blow, or that I must blow, or he will come down and blow himself, but for Christ's sake to tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."