Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus! Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob! Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker. Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees. Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob. Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What's the best thing about a blow job? A: The ten minutes of silence! Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common? A: You don't look down Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth! Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel? A: She was trying to blow the horn. Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job? A: You just KNOW she'll swallow! Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too. Q: What is the metric equivalent of 69? A: 1 ate 1. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What's better than a rose on your piano? A: Tulips on your organ. Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: He can't find the zipper! Q: Whats comes after 69? A: Mouthwash. Q: What's the definition of a Yankee? A: Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself. Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby. Q: What is the square root of 69? A: Ate something! Q: What do you call a Christmas blowjob? A: Egg noggin. Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs? A: Because that's what they train for all their lives. Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? A: You have to chew before you swallow! Q: Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job? A: You don't know? soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow? Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob? A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: One man is on a tight rope and the other is getting a blow job in a retirement home what are they thinking? A: Dont look down Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge? A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for sex? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod! Q: What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A: The wheel chair. Q: What's the definition of trust? A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! Q: What does 69 equal? A: A couple of mouths full. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/blowjobjokes.html
Author
Topic: Joke of the day NSFW (Read 1551 times)